Thesis Studio 1 First Round Critique

After I watched the recording my presentation (little bit awkward tbh), I found 3 positive things and 3 negative things, Let’s start with negative things:

1). The distribution of time on each slides

It’s hard to notice that how many time you spend on each slides when you were presenting at the moment. For example, the slide of my concept statement was an important section of the whole presentation, but obviously I did not spend enough words to explain what is food culture and why food culture is crucial for our society. Besides that, I might be need to separate these two core concepts to individual page next time, so my audiences would be able to have a better understanding of my ideas.

2). The Needs to clarification

Even though the research is still going on, probably it’s hard to make a final decision about your final project. But, just in case that I won’t lose in the research, I need to build a main shaft of my projects. It could be some keywords, a question, or a statement. Whatever it is, it needs to be present and clearly be declared during the presentation. And then, your audiences will understand which potential perspective they should take. In my case, this main shaft might be “build tangible form for intangible culture/data”.

3). Stop saying “ums” and “ahs”

I am not sure if it’s only me or even native English speakers might also have this “bad” habits while they were speaking, which was using too much fillers, such as “ums” and “ahs”. It’s not only disrupt the fluency of your sentences, also breaks the logic somehow. But I found that when I was talking about the game reference, it’s way more fluent than the other sections. (Idk why, maybe I spent too much time on it.)

Ok, time for some positive things:

1). Game reference is useful.

2). The research of yogurt is attractive.

3). After reviewing the comments and feedbacks, I feel the direction is more clear.

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